Immigration is exciting and difficult at the same time. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is experienced by 47% of immigrants and can cause relationships to break down. We’ve listed some key components that helped a couple, Frank & Amy, in their late thirties navigate immigration & managed to keep their relationship intact.
Relationships need to be flexible, and supportive and be able to pivot in any direction together without much friction.
Frank & Amy immigrated to Canada a few years ago and experienced this very statement a few years ago when they made the big move. The family arrived with permanent residency visas and had no job offers when they first moved to Canada.
They were both self-employed in their country of citizenship and knew that they had to look for employment to start their Canadian careers. Within a few weeks, Amy found a job in her occupation and started working about six weeks after they landed in Canada. Frank could not find a job in his occupation and was still unemployed eight months later, even when exploring other employment opportunities.
During this period, Amy’s income was enough to cover the family’s living expenses and Frank took over the reins at home. While finances were tight, the family made the best of the situation by exploring free activities in their new surroundings. With set working hours, the family was happy as the parents had more available time for their children and Amy enjoyed not having to cook dinner for a while.
Frank eventually found an opportunity in the construction industry and has successfully built his own business since.
Both partners need to explore all aspects (of immigration) – the good and the bad
Frank & Amy researched as much as they could, especially cultural differences. While they came from a country with many different cultures, they knew the North West cultures were very different from the South Eastern cultures.
They explored Canada’s religious culture, job prospects, housing, insurance, education system, and medical system problems. They ensured that Canada would be a good fit for their family and made the move with open eyes, as Canada has problems of its own.
Even though they did their research, the initial few months took some navigating with some interesting twists and turns.
One aspect that they still struggle with is not having their family close by. Even though the family made good friends over the years, they miss their family dearly and this is by far the hardest part of immigration.
Both partners need to be on the journey
The couple had to explore different provincial nomination programs for immigration purposes. They identified one of New Brunswick’s provincial nomination programs as a possible route and started the process of applying. During the process of gathering documents, Frank admitted that he was not ready for the big move yet and the process was put on hold. A short while later, that program closed which was a great disappointment for Amy who was excited for the move. The couple discussed their future and decided that they needed to continue living their current lives to the fullest and explore Canada again when both were ready to take the next step.
Shortly after Frank was ready to tackle the journey, a program opened up for Nova Scotia which the couple qualified for. They applied and received their nomination within three weeks. Their permanent residency application was approved within four months of applying.
Setting goals
If you are migrating from a developing country, bear in mind that the exchange would likely not work in your favor. Be prepared to take a financial and comfort setback and set goals on how to establish yourself in a first-world country. It would take a few years so patience is key.
Frank & Amy had set goals to work towards before they moved to Canada. This included buying property, becoming self-employed again and saving towards retirement. They moved into their own house 15 months after they moved to Canada and both Frank and Amy were self-employed 5 years after they moved to Canada. They are behind on their retirement savings and continue to save toward this life-changing event.
Avoiding survival mode
Frank and Amy almost fell into survival mode in the first few months of living in Canada. Having only one salary to pay the bills triggered emotions to run high at times. The couple again decided to live their best life under the circumstances and did many outdoor activities together, especially during summer. This helped the family to grow closer together while exercising and reducing their anxiety and stress significantly. They made use of the long summer days and would enjoy many evenings at one the local lakes after dinner.
To END
This was one family’s journey listing just a few pointers on how they kept their relationship with each other and their children intact. Their journey sounds easy on paper, but they had to climb many boulders and navigate seemingly endless mud pits to build their new life in Canada.
Communication doesn’t always come easy, whether it’s with a romantic partner or someone else. But it’s key to the overall success and sustainability of such partnerships, especially when immigrating to a new country. Communication is what keeps couples on the same page and feeling like they are solving problems together rather than against one another
While some people have no problem communicating their needs in a clear and respectful way, others may struggle when it comes to expressing themselves—and that can make maintaining healthy relationships especially challenging.
